Neither Heaven nor Hell
by Symboiotic Beast
Summary: Dante loves the ladies, we all know that. But when he goes out looking for em, he gets pulled into a world that is not his own. He doesn't know where he is, but what he does know, is that he has found an absolute hottie! Though there is only one problem, the world is threatened by... living clothes? And demons too. Some things just never change do they?
1. Arrival

This place was a dump. And so was the man currently residing in it. The place looked like a shithole, clothes and pizza boxes lay strewn across the floor. The windows were boarded up and the room was dimly lit. The man had a pizza box in front of him, boots kicked up onto his desk as he ate a pizza slice in each hand. The name of the place? _Devil May Cry_ , the name of the man? His name was Dante, Dante Sparda.

' Man this pizza is great! I'm glad I was able to persuade the pizza place down the block to deliver one to me hours before they even opened!'

Pizza was all this guy thought of, that, and the ladies. He wasn't necessarily a pervert per say, but more like a guy who was always trying to get some. He respected the girls he met, MOST of the time. Sometimes he just got overwhelmed like that. Can you blame him? I mean, some girls are smokin' hot.

'Ding! Idea! I should go out and see if i can score any chicks. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea me! Oh me, you flatter me so.'

Dante got up out of his reclined position and holstered Ebony and Ivory, whispering 'my girls' under his breath. He started to head out into the foyer, he took a look back into his office and caught another glimpse of the pizza box on his desk, two slices still left inside.

'After I finish up this pizza of course, can't leave a beauty like that just sitting there can I?'

And with that, he ate the pizza, cleaned up in the bathroom, (He had to look dashing for the ladies of course) and headed outside. He got on his motorbike, started the ignition, and sped out onto the road in search of a fine woman to score.

* * *

Dante was having a wonderful time riding his motorbike as he sped down the road. His silver hair flying in the wind, coat billowing as the wind blew through him. These were one of the many things that he made sure to enjoy throughout life, the feeling of riding a good ol motorcycle. Though he made sure to keep an eye out for any catches while doing so. He wasn't having the best of luck so far though.

'Nope. Nope. Nope. Definitely Nope. Oh, is she hot? Oh no, it wasn't even a girl, it was a guy. Could've sworn he was a chick for a moment there, though if a guy could be cute, it would be him.'

Dante continued riding through town, the many buildings and small office buildings passing him by. It was a quaint little town with a small population, but not so small that you would see the same person twice. This was good for him as it meant that he had more chances to hit the jackpot one day. 'One day' he thought. Though little did he know that day may yet be soon.

He turned onto the main road, now opting to keep his eyes on the road rather than scope out a chick. He passed by many cars that had been on the road with him, as well as the occasional motorcycle. He continued on down the road for a while until he noticed that the cars began to thin. This was particularly odd as this was the main road, and it was almost always busy. This did not go by unnoticed by Dante.

'Huh, i'm one of the only people left on the road. Maybe there is some holiday I don't know about. Nah, that's impossible. I keep track of all the holidays because it gives me an excuse to go crazy and do what I want, oh well, whatever.'

Dante was now the only one left on the road. It's gotten eerily silent around save for the sound of the bike he was currently riding. Then he noticed something strange. The road looked different now, There were high walls on either side. This certainly was strange.

'How did I not notice this before? Did the road always look like this? No, I would have remembered. This is a bit unnerving to say the least.'

These thoughts went to the back of his mind however, as he noticed something on the side of the road. It was a girl trying to flag people down. He bike certainly looked to be busted up. This was definitely a score. He found a lovely lady to help out in her time of need. And he was going to make damn sure he took advantage of it.

'Woo damn! That is one cute as hell girl over there! I am definitely going to help her out, maybe I can get her number. Yeah, should be a piece of cake after I help her. What with my stunning looks and amazing personality after all.'

Just then he felt it. The dizzying pull he felt whenever he was dragged into limbo. Though this was somehow different. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was no mistaking it, he was no longer in the human world, Limbo or not.

Right then and there, he decided to take the liberty of unholstering his baby girls and did a majestic backflip off of the motorbike. He landed perfectly as he looked up to see his bike collide with the wall. 'Oh well, i'll just get a new one I suppose' As he looked around, he didn't notice the presence of any demonic corruption in the area. Or any danger at all for that matter. 'I guess this isn't Limbo, then what is this place?'

He took a look around and then noticed something, Where he spotted the chick before, there was a hulking figure of a man. Dante holstered his babies as the man stared at him as if her were a mental patient Dante just stared back to fuck with him. The man then shook his head and got into his car, which was blindingly pink. He sailed off into the distance toward the city.

'Wait, city? When did that get there? I guess I truly am in another plane of existence. I didn't think this would happen when I went out to get some. Oh well, speaking of, where did that girl go?' He looked around and saw nothing. 'Whatever, I guess i'll just get going toward that city then. A shame I have to walk, but maybe that could do some good for me anyway.'

Dante started off toward the city that seemed to be a few miles away. All the while, unbeknownst to him, he was being watched by a drone that peered at him from above.

* * *

"Who is this guy, and how did he just appear there next to Gamagori like that?" An intellectual and calculating voice mumbled under it's breath.

"What are you mumbling about now Inumuta? You aren't spying on any girls now, are you?"

"What!? I would never! I'm no pervert you know!"

"Yeah yeah, sure you aren't….. Pervert."

"Nonon! Inumuta! Quit your bickering, it annoys me to no end!"

"Fine, whatever you say Uzu."

Nonon looked down at her feet, furious with Inumuta. She's sure he uses his "surveillance" to be pervy and spy on girls, she just can't prove it. Nevertheless, She doesn't want to tip Uzu off. He is one scary bastard when he got angry. They were outside of the academy at the time, in a corner of the courtyard. Keeping watch on all of the students that are passing through into or out of the school.

"What I was actually mumbling about, was not me being a pervert, but this strange man. He just suddenly appeared next to Gamagori on the highway. He backflipped off of his bike while it was moving then pulled out a couple of pistols."

"Really?" Nonon replied. "Let me get a look at this."

Nonon butted in next to Inumuta to see this….. This hunk of a silver-haired man. ' he's sooooo handsome! What a guy, I need to know more about him.'

"Do you know anything else about him?" Uzu asked.

"No, not necessarily. He's just sort of been walking toward the city. Oh well, if he's anything important i'm sure we'll find out more about him eventually."

"Agreed" Uzu replied.

'They may be content to wait, but I am not. I need to find out more about this dashing man, I need to get a piece of him, and now.'

And so Nonon Jakuzure walked off, intent on stalking her target until she got the chance to go in for the kill you could say.

* * *

A shiver was sent down Dante's spine. He felt as if he had just been violated.

'Why do I get the feeling that somebody really wants to get a piece of me? Whoever it is, they better be cute, that's for sure. I wouldn't want to be harassed by an ugly mother fucker now would I?

* * *

Hey guys! This is my second fic I have written, the first one was hot garbage though. Be as brutal as you want with me, I ain't no bitch, and I could certainly use someone else to point out my flaws. Anyway, I am going to finish this story through to the end, enjoy!


	2. Hotness

After a long ass walk, Dante found himself entering the city. Looking around, he noticed that he appeared to be in the slums of the city. Everything looked relatively ramshackle. People were running around in tattered clothing, though a lot of them looked happy, and were shopping at the various stalls and vendors that were dotted along the street. The sound of business littered the street, bathing the atmosphere of the city in a light mood. The air smelled a little funny though, but Dante didn't take any notice of that.

He noticed a kid running around the streets, bumping into people and acting like it was an accident, before pulling something out of their pockets and running away. He paid no heed to the kids actions, maybe he was just really poor and had. 'Survival of the fittest.' Dante mused. If that kid can't live without some things then he's just going to take it anyway, no matter what anybody says. The kid was a weird looking one though, shorts and sunglasses. Weird hair too. 'Eh, whatever.' Dante's attention was quickly drawn to something else though.

He had his eye on something else. It was somebody by a stall selling fruits. And he thought she look stunning. Truly, this was the "jackpot" he had been searching for for a lot of the time he had spent alive. 'God, I can't let an opportunity like this go to waste now can I? Damn! She's a hottie!'

The girl in question was a younger looking one, she had black hair with a red highlight through the front. She had gorgeous blue eyes. Damn she had looks that could kill. 'That jacket she's wearing looks pretty wicked too if I do say so myself.' He thought. 'I am definitely going to go for that lovely looking girl, I just can't help myself!'

The girl bought a lemon from the vendor, which Dante thought to be a little odd, but did not care so much. 'I have to find out her name, perhaps just going up and talking to her would be a good idea, but I want to make sure she's not trouble first.' The girl walked off and Dante followed suit, making sure that she would not notice him. 'This isn't stalking' Dante told himself. 'I just have to find the right moment to swoon this lovely lady and make her mine.'

As Dante followed her around, the smell of something nasty invaded his senses even more, but as before, he paid it no mind as he was on a mission. It was a very important one too, well, at least as important as something can get to this silver-haired demon hunter. But while he was musing whether or not to just talk to her already, the kid from earlier bumped into her and took the lemon she had. 'Why would he take that? A little odd, but maybe this kid is just that desperate to swap spit with a lady or something I don't know.'

The kid booked it like a bat out of hell and the girl followed him. Whenever the kid stopped, she jumped up behind him a took their lemon back. Dante was too far away to hear whatever they were saying, but it looked like she was teasing him for taking the lemon. 'Heh, maybe she was having the same thoughts as me, great minds think alike I guess.' Dante mused to himself before cracking a grin. Though while he was watching them argue, what looked to be the kids friends came out from an alley, a lot of them had weapons too, and they all started arguing again. The girl looked like she had just about had enough of their shit and got ready to fight them, but then another girl sped by him and over to where they were and started yelling at them all. The girl had brown hair in a bowl cut. She grabbed the first kid by the ear and started berating him before pointing away. That seemed to do the trick as the whole gang scrambled and ran away.

The girls now two talked for a bit before the brown-hair started to panic and booked it to a track that had a car on it and hopped on. Now Dante had been inching up into separate alleyways before he was close enough to hear what the black-haired girl said now. But she just sighed and shook her head before forging on deeper into the city after wherever it was where she was going. And once again Dante got a wave of that smell from earlier, that disgusting, evil stench. But once again he ignored it in favor of watching the girl. 'Man, does she have a guitar too? This is just looking better and better isn't it?'

And once again, Dante was caught unawares as to the drone silently watching from above, gauging his every move, collecting data on who he was, or at least was trying to do so.

* * *

Inumuta sighed, thinking to himself. The rest of the four had left him to his own devices, so he was monitoring this strange man on his own. 'There is absolutely no information on this guy, he's like a living shadow, somebody who just does not exist. There are no records of him whatsoever. Even if he were to have just been born today there would be a birth certificate. He had no digital trace, nor any physical one. I have no idea who this guy is, but he could be dangerous, especially if he's such a perv, following girls around all the time.' He needed to find more information about this guy, but there was just none anywhere. Guess He would just have to resort to watching him for now, as that is all he can do.

* * *

Dante and the mysterious girl were steadily making their way through the city, they looked to be about halfway through it now. He believed that she was trying the get to that massive building in the center, it was as good a guess as any he supposed. This place wasn't too bad, they looked to be in a more middle class sector of the city, there were condos everywhere and people went about their day, though they seemed to ignore everybody else in favor of doing their own thing. Though as they got deeper into the place, the girl turned into a back alley. 'Damn, it's going to be hard to follow her through an alley, guess i'll just have to get smart now won't I?'

After she turned into the alley, Dante waited a minute and made sure nobody was looking before he turned the corner as well. He turned just as he saw the girl turn yet another corner which he quickly followed suit. But as soon as he turned, the girl turned around. 'SHIT, gotta dive for some boxes!' Dante quickly dived to the side behind some conveniently placed boxes. Now that he got a look at the alley way it looked to be behind a bunch of restaurants, no wonder these were here, probably trash or something.

Dante sat behind the boxes for a minute before he heard the girl turn around and start walking. Just as he peeked over the boxes, the girl gasped, he saw a hell pride in front of her. 'Oh no, this is bad, I should go help her, but that would turn out awkward afterwards.' Dante was promptly shut up as the girl pulled a blade out of her case that she had slung over her back. 'Maybe she can handle herself, yeah that would save me some trouble.'

Dante was shut up once again as the demon rushed over and TKO'ed her with a single punch. 'That plen went out the window real fast, I suppose I should jump in now.' Dante jumped over the boxes pulling Ebony and Ivory out from underneath his red blazer and shot the demon on steroids multiple times before it could go and finish off the girl.

"Hey you ugly mother fucker! Come get some! There's plenty more bullets where that came from!"

The hell pride now leaped over to him before Dante delivered an uppercut to the things jaw while he shot one of his pistols at the scythe the demon was wielding before it could slice him in two. It flew back from the punch and smashed into the wall and Dante shot it until he thought it would be dead. There wasn't a single trace left of the thing. "Damn, I should have realized sooner, that smell I was smelling was demon, and a whole lot of it too, I gotta find someplace safe for her."

"Well, that takes care of that, better take care of this girl now. I don't exactly know where to take her though, I've never been here before. But it's not like I can leave her here. Well, with me she goes then." Dante said to nobody in particular as he picked her up in a bridal carry. He started to make his way out of the alley they were both in, before someone decided to yell at him.

"Hey you! Let her go you big pervert! I'm not going to let you take advantage of her!"

This triggered Dante. He may be pushy and a douche sometimes, but if there was one thing that he absolutely did not do, was take advantage of a girl, especially not one as hot as this. So he turned around to look at who it was that was yelling at him, it was that brown haired girl from earlier.

"I'm no perv you know lady."

"Then explain why you're holding an unconscious girl in an alley then!"

"Look, i'm only going to explain this once, I happened to be passing by, when I noticed a demon attack her and knock her out, so I helped out and killed the demon, Now I was going to try to find someplace safe for her, got it?" Dante said in a very irritated tone.

"Oh, then why didn't you just say so?" Dante had to contain an irritated sigh at this question.

'She is going to be a handful, I can already tell that much'

"In any case, do you know anywhere I can bring her? I can't exactly just leave her here."

"Of course, you two can come back to my place! I won't be able to get to school today, but I'm always willing to help those in need!"

"Alright, lead the way then ms…"

"Oh, i'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself! I'm Mako, Mako Mankanshoku!"

"I'm Dante, let's go then, Don't want to be out here too long." 'At least not long enough for more demons to show up'

"Of course! Just follow me Dante!"

Dante followed Mako out of the alley, back down the street, and allllll the way back down into the slums. 'Oh well, better to get her to safety I guess.' He thought as he looked down at the girl he held in his arms. His heart stops just by looking at her. He then noticed a tag on the inside of her jacket, it had a name on it. 'Ryuko' he thought. 'That's a cute name.'

Mako led him down another alley in the slums of the city until she stopped at a building with a massive sign on top of it.

"Welcome to my home, the back alley clinic! Please, come on in!"

With that exclamation, Mako led them both inside. In there, he saw the pickpocketing kid from earlier, a pervy looking guy, and a sweet looking girl. 'What have I just gotten myself into' He thought before he steeled himself for the insanity that was likely to ensue. 'I certainly hope they aren't going to take our organs while we sleep, though with the look that guy is giving me, i'm not so sure i'm going to be that lucky. I can only hope I suppose.'

* * *

Yet another chapter for you guys. Just in case you were wondering, I am going to try to get out two chapter every weekend, 1,500 words minimum, 5,000 words maximum. I hope you all continue to enjoy my story, and as I said before, please criticize me, as well as praise me. Unless you have nothing to praise me for, then go right ahead and criticize me, i'll take everything into account as I write!


	3. The return of coolguy 6969

Hey everyone who even cares. Basically my computer shat itself and went night night. But I'll be getting a brand spanking new top o da line gaming comp that I can continue writing on! Hopefully it will be ready in the coming weeks and I can continue writing again. See you guys then!


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